Solitary Confinement of the Self.

I don't know what's wrong with me these few days. Feeling somewhat incompetent, like two Saturdays ago at the pharmacy when E. decided to try and curb my "mistakes." Perhaps its my hormonal imbalance. Is it just my immaturity? A desperate cry for attention that is making me act out? I can't understand. I feel so much in my heart, yet I can't understand what it is. Tell me, God, what is it that I'm feeling? Why can I not feel right? Is it something to be wished for and hoped for, never to be obtained? Or is there something truly abnormal about me? Could it be that I'm just a needy person feeling really alone? Alone. That word alone stings my heart. I've failed to get anybody to like me, and even now, the prospect of being alone strikes fear into me. I've succeeded in so many ways, but failed in so many others. Why can't I understand myself? I peer into myself and all I see is a child-alone and sad, but myself. Is this who I am? I know not why God made me so, only that I know He made me like this for a purpose. Who am I to understand the reason for who I am, for the injustices I've done to Him? I suppose the only consolation I have is that He's out there, leading me on. I have trust in Him, but the trust seems to be wavering. Why would I feel so lost amidst a time of good? Or is this meant to be? Lately I've felt incompetent, incomplete, alone, a nuisance to others. Would it simply be that I'm just not cut out and meant for the world? I've done so much wrong, I can't seem to find a right. And I'm so sorry for it. Please forgive me, everybody. Most of all, let me forgive myself. I can't find myself right now.