Notes

Hmm, seems there's a sliver of hope for humanity-a white boy (age roughly 14-15?) who doesn't act out and is nice. Kudos to the kid from VC on the 480 who seems to have an idea of morality. Not like the other guys.

Lots of pretty high school girls on the C-Line from LFA. Why I take a fancy to them, I don't know.

A rage dump, some new info.

I am officially sick. No fun. But further to my woes, V decided it was fun to call me unreliable. The hell I am reliable! I just don't want to have shit to do with breakdancing or popping classes, whatever the fuck they are. Does it LOOK like I want to deal with people having seizures on the ground? If anything, have I not come across as a modest person? People doing this shit not only offends me, but makes me feel our generation as more degenerate. But that's inevitable. I hate this shit. Why can't we deal with traditional forms of dancing, which have prevailed for centuries? Not enough? My ass. If it was as if our world isn't degenerate enough. Our music is shitty, what with all this false proclamation for love...whatever. I don't give a shit if Taylor Swift sings well, whatever she sings is bullshit. Fuck that. I'll stay with my classical music. The best music ever. And songs that don't talk about love and shit every other word. At least the stuff I do listen to has meaning greater than the whole. And that's saying something.

Anyway, unreliability. Definition: noun, for how well an object, person, or likewise can be depended on to do certain tasks.
Example: The assault rifle is prone to overheating, thus its reliability in the field is in question.
Example: The person is almost constantly late, her boss is now questioning her reliability as an employee

Note: NOT: Jim was absent for class once, and therefore his buddy considered him reliable.

Remember children, that reliability is established over a course of many events. It takes more than one event to deem someone/something unreliable.

Now then, do the math: am I unreliable? I haven't failed to do stuff, and am quite punctual. Now if we're dealing with shit I don't want to do, why should I do it? I'm putting myself under stress to stand there and watch blasphemy. And I have had a headache. Must separate more codeine. Fun. I like addictions. And I'm sick. BULLSHIT.

Off this topic: I'm about to ask for Age Verification from ASC to get access to the classifieds, hopefully then I will be able to buy a full steel M4A1 with some batteries. If I'm lucky, maybe even an HK416 with batteries. If nothing really shows up, I'll be spending the money to buy the M4 RIS from Mach 1 Airsoft. Even better, my verifier Julian has offered to drive me to a game this/next Sunday, let's see if my mom will let me go.

Friendship

So here we are, a new post after a long while of silence. I apologize. With several events going on, I haven't really had time to post. But recently, several things have opened my eyes to the real world around me. It would seem that I'm recently surrounded by things I haven't been able to see. It would appear that the people around me are disappearing. What was once a wholesome group of friendly individuals gathered together to have fun and play now are people who no longer value friendship enough to make time for each other. There are those who are still willing to put it out there for others, but it would seem many of us are now extinct to those who still wish to have it the old way. Nonetheless, it is difficult to move on now that the present is upon us. I only wish that those affected and myself can find some new people to call friends. Because it is ourselves that are hurt. And only we know how difficult it is to realize that loneliness only takes one to manifest. If I didn't have the experience of having lost friends, I too would have difficulty accepting the situation. But the one I care about the most is the one hurting the most, and my feelings towards this person are one of caring and nurturing, perhaps willing for more than simple friendship. But this person isn't willing to carry on more than friendship regardless of how good my intentions are. I shall cherish what we have, as I always have. In friendship, the only gain is everything, the loss, only what you can't have. I wish not for a companion, but for lasting friendship. And right now, that is what is fading. And I lament it for the world and for those who having just two years ago, would have called me friend. They are the ones who lost the most, for they know not what they lost.